ET and stress

Having comic relief in stressful times can

help you cope.

 There's a lot of talk about the role of stress in cancer. Teasing out how stress might trigger or worsen cancer involves a lot of Complicated Science, and no one really knows the extent to which stress affects patients like us.

Certainly we all feel worse when we're stressed out. And science has discovered a link between stress and some ailments such as psoriasis and migraine headaches. Stress also plays a role in platelet levels. My GP tested my platelets for a few months because I had been stressed out about a heart problem. But when they stayed high and went higher, she sent me to the hematologist, and that's when I got my ET diagnosis.

About six weeks ago, I saw firsthand how stress can increase ET symptoms when my mother died. I also officially retired a couple of weeks after that. And Mom named me as executor of her will. So for the past month and a half, I was busy getting her house ready for out-of-state family members, planning a funeral and making arrangements, talking to a lawyer, and trying to make sense out of Mom's estate.

Once family cleared out, I kept finding little notes from Mom that said, "I have three credit cards in my billfold. The passwords are in the bank deposit box. Make sure you cancel them ASAP." When I went to bank deposit box, there would be more notes sending me off in other directions. It was like a scavenger hunt. A really really REALLY stressful scavenger hunt.

Oh, and I "inherited" my mother's spoiled cat, which has created some extra tension.

I kept things together pretty well in the run up to the memorial service. (Owing to family schedules and travel, we had to hold it three weeks after Mom died.) But I also felt dizzy and woozy. I couldn't get my brain to slow down. Itching was worse. And I was a lot more tired in the evening.

So after the last six weeks of stress, I awaited with equal amounts of scientific interest and dread for my blood results yesterday. I've been on hydroxyurea (500 mg once a day) for three months, and, after an initial drop of about 150 points,  platelets have risen about 50. I also turned up with some other levels that indicated some budding anemia. So I emailed Hemo Nurse. She said the numbers were "fairly good," stay on the current dose of HU for now." She did suggest a multivitamin with iron. So I'm off to the pharmacy to get that.

I'll be interested to see if, now that the immediate stressors are calming down and I am starting some supplements, what my blood levels do in the next couple of months.

The point I'm making the long way around  is that disease progression does not stop just because you've had a couple of "life-altering events." And stress is an inevitable part of living. These things are hard to deal with when you're in peak shape. When you're sick, it magnifies the stress.

But here are some things that made it better for me:

Have comic relief. For me, that's my brother. He can find the ridiculous in everything, and that helped me stop taking everything way too seriously. I was glad that the family was staying in Mom's house together for several days so that I had that support for awhile. If you don't have your own personal court jester, watch a comedy video. Jim Gaffigan works for me.

Don't eat out of a bag. Junk food makes you feel worse--sluggish and oddly hungry after an hour or two. Plus I don't need the fat, and I am supposed to watch my salt. So I kept a supply of simple meal ingredients--eggs, cheese, salad in a bag, juice, homemade granola, tuna fish, some healthy, low-sodium canned soups. Making a meal for yourself forces you to take time out for 30 minutes and sit down. Having four light meals through the day also seemed to help with energy levels.

Pace yourself. I have five or six good hours a day, and then I hit a wall. I have learned to respect The Wall. I tried to shut down about the same time every day. Except for that one Sunday when I was exhausted and binge-watched "The Walking Dead" five-hour marathon while napping in the recliner. It helps to set yourself a time to "quit" and get some rest.

Stay connected/reconnect. Make time to be around your friends, even for a short period of time. It might even just be a few minutes of texting. But it's easier to get stuck in the quicksand of stress if you  neglect the people who keep you sane. A funeral also reconnects you with people you haven't seen in a long time. I have good intentions (and hope I keep them) to stay in better touch with those folks.

Share the load. I guess that's a nice way of saying unload your burdens on whomever offers. My husband was a life-saver during this whole ordeal. So was my mother's neighbor, who picked up mail and watched the cat. So is the lawyer. It's worth the extra money to make her do stuff that my brain is too shot to figure out.

Read read read. I had a couple of books downloaded on my Kindle that were entertaining and made a nice change of pace. Watching TV and DVDs can help, but nothing recharges your brain like a good book.

Remember what you enjoy. It is really easy in stressful times to just resent things and complain about what you have to do. When you get to that stage, it's sometimes a good idea to ask, "What would you rather be doing?" If it's feasible, go do it for an hour. I enjoy having a latte in the afternoon at a certain cafe. I also enjoy reading the paper on Sunday afternoon. I took some time to do those things, and I think it reduced my recovery time.

Ask, "Is this really necessary?" The day of my mother's funeral, I started to get anxious about what to wear. My brother (see "Have comic relief" above) asked if I really thought anyone would even remember what I wore? No. So go deal with something that matters.

All of you will find yourself (if you haven't already) in a situation where much will be asked of you. Please try to remember a few of these tips.

And be well!

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