First day of Advent, and, as Archie Bunker used to say, "The Christmas season is at our throats again." And that means increased fatigue. While doing research for my previous post, I learned that "cancer fatigue" is a real phenomenon that persists despite rest and sleep (though you certainly need both!). Patients with ET have that kind of fatigue. And that makes creating the "magic of Christmas" for your family a whole lot harder.
The last few years, about the time my ET started, my modus operandi has been to throw Christmas under the bus so I could enjoy it more. I realize that sounds like a paradox or a non sequitur, but here's what worked for me:
1. I made a list of all the stuff I did during the holidays, from sending out Christmas cards to buying gifts to hosting brunches and soirees. Then I crossed off everything that created stress, cost worrisome amounts of money, and (worst of all) turned me into a harpy.
2. I gave the list of things I'd crossed off the list to various family members and told them that these traditions had now flat-lined, and if they wanted them revived, they'd better start start resuscitation efforts ASAP. It was amazing how many of those traditions died a quiet death without anyone really missing them.
This year, in keeping with my "throw it under the bus" approach to the holidays, I decided to add three things:
1. Something that will get me moving around outdoors. I haven't decided what this will be yet, but has to be something that does NOT involve a store or mall with a lot of stressed out people. I live in the country in the upper Midwest, and I have always loved the outdoors in winter. Maybe I'll put lawn chairs in the front yard on New Year's Eve, and at midnight, invite my family to drink hot cocoa and watch Orion rise over the house (or the snow fall, depending on the weather). We have warm coats, quilts and jammies. It might be nice.
2. Something that would make someone else's life better. I knit almost incessantly to relieve stress. This year I ended up with nine pairs of cozies (fingerless mitts you can wear alone or over gloves). I put them in a box along with toiletries for a nearby city rescue mission. These good people take the most desperate cases, offering shelter, a hot meal, and helping shepherd people to social services safety nets. My guess is that your local food bank or domestic violence shelter is in constant need of toilet paper, disposable diapers, and feminine hygiene products. Your local animal shelter probably needs a lot of cat litter. Think about it.
3. Enjoy the damn holiday. It's so easy to get caught up in the minutiae of the holidays that you forget to sit down and enjoy it. Below are some of my favorites, from the ridiculous to the sublime, one for each day of the 12 days of Christmas:
"How the Grinch Stole Christmas": Dr. Seuss classic narrated by Boris Karloff. It never gets old. Never fails to choke me up, just a little.
"It's a Wonderful Life": Pace feminist critics. We all know that Donna Reed might have had a perfectly happy life as a self-sufficient librarian. That's not really the point. The point is that Jimmy Stewart remains true to his moral compass as a compassionate business man.
"Elf": Will Farrell is adopted and raised by a North Pole elf played by Bob Newhart. His real father is James Caan. It's idiotic but very funny.
"Millions": A small boy who might be somewhat crazy wants to do the right thing with some stolen money and the help of his friends, the saints. Best line: St. Claire of Assisi lighting a cig and saying, "Down here you have to make the effort. Up there it's ... infinite!"
"A Christmas Carol" (with George C. Scott, shot in beautiful Shrewsbury): Scott's muted Scrooge makes him more menacing and in need of repentance. Straightforward story-telling, great cast.
"Santaland Diaries": David Sedaris's hilarious audio essay about working as a Macy's Christmas elf one year. His rendition of "Away in a Manger" a la Billie Holiday is priceless.
"Six to Eight Black Men": David Sedaris explains Dutch Christmas customs to Americans.
Nat King Cole's Christmas album,
Judy Garland's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" (get your your hanky)
The slightly smutty "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt
Luciano Pavarotti's "O Holy Night" and "Ave Maria"
"Sweet Little Jesus Boy" by Mahalia Jackson (if this doesn't do it for you, nothing will)
Enjoy! Be well!
Be sure to watch "Meet Me in St. Louis" for the complete Judy Garland experience.
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